Why is it that we click with some people and seem to repel others? Why do some people seem to have a knack for connecting with everyone they meet? While it may be easy to push it to the side and chalk it up to having charisma or being born with great communication skills, the art of connecting with anyone is a learned trait and actually pretty simple. Here are 4 easy, applicable steps you can take to click with anyone you meet.
Use Common Ground.
This is by far the easiest way to connect with anyone you meet. We tend to hangout and associate with people who have a lot in common with us. This is why in school the nerds hangout with other nerds and the football players hangout with other football players. We naturally click with people who share similar PASSIONS to us. Don’t get me wrong, the fact that you and Billy both love the Cleveland Browns is great. Unfortunately they suck and this is what I refer to as a weak commonality, unless you are both die hard Browns fans this is just something random you have in common like having lungs or toes. The easiest way to INSTANTLY click with someone is to have the same passion as them. It could be working out, reading literature or fancy wine tasting. As long as you both love it and have a passion for it you have an instant relationship. Use some discovery questions to nudge your new acquaintance into the realm of their passions. Find one you share and feel the immediate bonding happen.
Encourage Others To Talk.
In my opinion a good communicator plays the role of a point guard. They call the plays and when someone is open, they pass it to them to drain the shot. Wether it’s a one on one conversation or a group conversation think of yourself as the point guard, you are the facilitator. Your job is to get people open and then get out of the way. A social point guard is always looking for the chance to invite someone into the conversation. Encourage those around you to talk and share their stories then be willing to lend them a listening ear. By encouraging someone to participate you are letting them open up and express themselves while creating a deep bond between yourself and them.
Holy shit so many exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is probably the easiest trick to implement when it comes to meeting new people or just re-clicking with old acquaintances. Having a ton of energy is fun and people enjoy being around others with a lot of energy. It’s not fun to do everyday and can be mentally draining but give it a shot 2 or 3 times a week. Get excited to meet new people or just to see the same ones you see on a regular basis. Your dog gets excited as fuck when he sees you and that’s why you love him so much. Follow his example.
There are a TON of interesting and extremely weird things I learn about some of the people I get to meet. I meet them once and once is enough, I never need an introduction again because they made such a unique impression on me that it would be almost impossible for me to forget who they are. Then there are the not so unique people, we can call them forgettables. They don’t command your attention and every time you see them you need an introduction. There is no easier way to make zero impression at all on someone than to be bland and offer nothing unique about yourself. There are a ton of things that can make you unique: the way you dress, the music you listen to, something you collect. Be yourself. You will click with like minded people who enjoy the same weird things you do. Find out what makes you unique and instead of trying to hide it embrace it.
Connecting with others is not an easy task. It is a skill and one that takes years to master. There is no sure way to connect with EVERYONE you meet but by practicing these 4 habits, making those life changing connections should be easier than ever.
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